The D word

A dear friend got divorced recently. It was sad and unfortunate. I had been a witness to their courtship days, their fairy tale wedding and the years that had followed. So it was sad and hard to swallow. But having said that, I had also seen the divorce coming long before it actually happened. Now the reason i am writing this post is not to discuss  their divorce, but society's reaction to a divorce! I fail to understand the stigma attached to a divorce. When the religion and the law both permit a couple to go their separate ways if they choose, then who are we to judge and dissect their personal life? Why can't we accept their decision without wagging our tongues? Why all the tsk tsk and the snide comments?

Since this person is a close friend of mine, i have been a target of endless questions from people who barely even know him! Behind the cloak of sympathy, they want to know all the details. What caused the divorce, who will look after the kids, how will he manage the house, blah,blah... When i tell those people to mind their own business, they give me those suspicious looks. They take me for devil's advocate. As if I care! Sometimes i feel like telling them that if you are so interested, why don't you apply for a governess or a maid in his house! (He can do with one!) 

It perplexes me that why is so much negativity attached to a divorce? It is a sad turn of events, no doubt, and certainly no one celebrates a divorce. But why can't we be a little more accommodating as a society? Why can't we accept divorce as a way of life? Why do we need to tag a divorced person with negativity? Why does a divorce seemingly overshadow all the positive qualities of that person? 

The most common comment I hear is that they should have compromised for the sake of their children. I just want to ask everyone a question that when a couple gets divorced, do they decide it overnight? Certainly not! Love may happen at first sight, but divorces do not happen overnight! They as parents must have thought a thousand times about their kids and how their decision is going to affect them. They must have lost a lot of sleep over this. And if they still feel that they should go their separate ways, then we have no right to question their integrity as parents and their loyalty towards their kids. Whatever may be their reasons, it is not for us to judge their decision!

I end the post with a couple of funny images to cheer my friend up! :)